I usually have an e-serial’s chapter pages open for comments, so readers can provide feedback on what is an early draft. The new website makes that tricky, so instead I opened a separate “blog” page for it.
Did you see typos? Concerns? Plot holes?
Do you just want to comment on the chapter/story?
All feedback is welcome. If you’re unfamiliar with my e-serials, this is an unedited draft. I’ve read it through and tweaked, but I haven’t put it aside and come back for a harder look or sent it out for editing, copyediting and proofreading. Once that’s done (in 2027), it’ll go up for sale. And, of course, if you spot a typo, I’ll get that fixed right away 🙂
You can either email mail@kelleyarmstrong.com or you can comment here.
Hi! I love your books 🙂
I spotted a little typo:
I scramble around to see him bearing down on us. In life, he was not tall, but in death, he towers over the boys as he stalks toward us, his face twisted >>a with<< malicious glee that makes me want to howl with rage.
Thank you and I'm looking forward to read more!
Thank you! That’s what happens when I edit LOL I’d changed that line and messed it up. Fixed now
Can hardly wait to find out why she killed him and what kind of ghost he is.
YIKES! Scared $hitless already!
Super intrigued by the ravens. I’ve always enjoyed the lore of a raven familiar and am always trying to pick out raven vs crow in the wild. Looking forward to finding out what is up with these birds.
In chapter two, it says: “It is as if his death rent open the veil, and I now bear witness to spirits trapped on this plane. ” I am not sure if a different word was intended, but I have never heard of “death rent” before and it is confusing in this sentence.
Otherwise, I am really enjoying reading this and am grateful that you are always so generous with your fans! Thank-you Kelley!
“Rent” is the past tense of “rend” (to tear violently) So it’d be read as “his death violently ripped open the veil..” Not a common word these days, but it fits perfectly, and it works for a historical 🙂
This story has completely drawn me in! Can’t wait to continue reading! Thank you!
Ch 1) Outstanding opening line! Hooked me completely and pulled me headlong into the story. The FMC is surprisingly rich for such a short chapter. Her desperation is palpable. Here’s the thing though, by the end of ch 1 I have barely more than a silhouette image of her in my mind’s eye. She’s a thinning woman with mussed hair and a tatty dress from night upon night of running. I have no name, no eye color, no hair color or length. What kind of dress is it? How all is she? What type of footwear (if any) does she have for these nights – long marathons? If it weren’t for the (fantastic) cover image, I’d have a better mental picture of the kindly woman and her dog than I do of the FMC.
The introduction of the spectre is perfectly executed. His presence is heavy and immediate. Yet, other than he’s very tall (now) with a malicious grin, I have no idea what he looks like at all. Which, honestly works for now because it’s obvious no one else can see him. Lack of description here works to increase the mystery of the ghost.
I’m left with a strong curiosity about why he’s going to such lengths to turn her into Forest Gump
Fair point on the FMC’s description, but it’s actually intentional for this one to withhold even her name at the beginning. She’s not the woman on the cover, which will likely be apparent in chapter two 🙂 I appreciate the feedback, though, and I’ll pass it on to my editor for a second opinion.
I’m really enjoying the story so far. Thank you so much for this October freebie!🏃♀️👻 You spoil us. ❤️
My comment is less about the content of the story and more about the website display… Would it be possible to add previous chapter/next chapter buttons at the bottom of the page for each chapter? Unless that won’t work with the new website or is too much of a hassle if the story will only be up until first week of November anyway. I just thought it would be useful for people who have multiple chapters to catch up on… or people who want to go back and start over again from the beginning. 😊
I meant to do that! It’s done now. Thanks for the reminder!
It doesn’t bother me to not know immediately the appearance of Edie, and to have only learned her name in chapter 3. At some point, a description of her physical image will be forthcoming, yes?
Speaking of ch 3, I find this to be a little confusing
Allow me to drive you to the edge of the forest, though. You will get lost if you stay
Her intention is to leave, not stay?
So glad the ravens assisted in swaying that intent 🙂
I like Victor’s sense of humor. So looking forward to Alma’s tale of the Lady.
Good catch! That should be “stray” not “stay” 🙂 As for her description, it might come a little late, and having had two comments on it, I’ll make sure in edits that more comes early on. Thanks!
-Tonight, I spend nearly an hour washing, and it is a luxury beyond imagining….- And after nearly two hours in the tub, so am I.
Fixed! Thanks!
So, the Next Chapter link for chapter 6 at the bottom of chapter 5 works, however, the link from the Table of Contents page, does not as of 3:30.
The character on the cover has been revealed! I know Edie caught a glimpse before (which is spectacular that she did before hearing the story), but now we know who it is! Love Alma’s story 🙂
Not sure if it matters, “Your nephew mentioned you like to walk in the morning,” but don’t recall that he did say such, maybe it was in the little conversation accompanying breakfast?
Both fixed. Thank you!
Loved the new chapter! I wonder what Victor is upset about…
“I see you and my aunt have cleaned the wound. There is only the wing to set. Alma, if you will assist in me . . .” – word order assist in me is a typo I think.
Yep, it’s a typo 🙂 Fixed! Thank you!
In chapter 8 there’s a typo. I think it should be bashes, not bashed.
When no one answers, I step into the hall and Dr. Morant nearly bashed into me.
Typo fixed! Thank you!
When no one answers, I step into the hall and Dr. Morant nearly bashed into me. Bashes, I think.
I sincerely hope that Victor didn’t mean it the way Edie heard him say she doesn’t belong…
I’ve been wondering, does Edie use MRS Morant for Alma as an honorific?
Yep, it’s an honorific–and also that she doesn’t know her marital status at the start. I’ll address that in edits, but the typo is now fixed. Thanks!
Hi Kelley! I just wanted to say I’m a massive fan of yours and recently got back into your books. I’m pumped after reading the first chapter of this novella. Wonderful job ♥️
Sending love from Regina, SK
Hi from another Regina, SK girly!
Just read the new chapter. I love the directness of these characters and that they don’t let misunderstandings fester.
(By the way, I noticed that the Chapter Ten link for Wednesday’s chapter on the Table of Contents page currently leads to Chapter Eight.)
Fixed! Thanks!
Hi Kelley, chapter 10 still seems to link to 8? Not sure how our time zones align but I’m desperate for the real chapter 10 😉
It should work, but yes, there was a problem I fixed before I went to bed last night, so the cached copy of the table of contents in your browser could be the old one. Try this: https://www.kelleyarmstrong.com/ravens-moor-chapter-ten/ Anytime that the table of contents doesn’t work, try using that link and changing the chapter number. That should be a guaranteed link, as long as the chapter is up! They’re released at midnight UTC
Perfect many thanks!
I found this line in chapter 10:
“Your poor thing,” Mrs. Morant says as she hurries to us and squeezes my arm. “A nightmare indeed. Bring her inside, Victor.”
Should it be “You poor thing” instead of “your” ?
Loving the novella so far!
Fixed! Thank you!
Clarification, please, regarding:
I take a note from my carpetbag and tuck it under the vase. It tells the Morants that I had to leave and profusely thanks them both, with a separate note for each.
Is it a singular piece of paper with distinct messages addressed to each on it?
Possibly a typo:
“…And plain speech. I also like honestly, though I understand it is not always possible.
honesty (without “L”)
So glad Victor stopped her and that Edie is telling him (and us) what/how it all started. Plus, the hints about Madeleine maybe considering Edie as a candidate for family 🙂
Ah, I see. I changed the second “note” to “message” to be clearer. Also fixed the typo. Thanks!
When I click on Chapter Eleven (due out on 10/23) it brings me to chapter ten.
You seem to be running into the caching issue others have reported. What’s happening is that your browser is pulling up an old version of the table of contents to speed it along, but that page has since changed. Here’s the direct link: https://www.kelleyarmstrong.com/ravens-moor-chapter-eleven/ Replacing the last word with the new chapter number should always bring it up.
Am I reading this wrong or should there be a “that” after fact in chapter two near the end?
The fact they are herding you to some unknown destination in a spooky forest?
Chapter 5. I’m starting to think it is just me that wants to see”that” after fact…lol. This time it is spoken, so it could be intentional if it’s not only me. But I also noticed that in one chapter, when Victor refers to his aunt, it’s capitalized, but here it’s not. I always have issues with when to and when not to capitalize.
“The fact you do not immediately recognize that as a jest is somewhat alarming, aunt.”
You’re probably right, but this is one of those things I’ll let my copyeditor address for me 🙂
Ah, you’re right. I’m terrible with that rule–capped or uncapped when it’s just the title. I will get it fixed one way or the other. Thank you!
In chapter 12, I believe it should be ‘stayed’ here: He stepped away from her and she stumbled forward, relief relaxing her fine features even as her eyes stay a little too wide.
Fixing it now. Thank you!
I had the thought ‘shades of Brigadoon, but not quite’ prior to chapter 15′. Clara & Henry’s unexpected appearance is a perfect clue for the answers Edie is seeking:
“…I needed to find the answers on my own. To be ready for them as Madeleine.”
I’m not sure that last sentence is complete?
Thank you for entertaining your readers throughout October, Happy Halloween!
I seem to be missing a word there. Now to figure out what I accidentally deleted LOL Thank you!
I am so excited for this story to be bound and purchaseable to add to my KA collection 🥹
Thank you for this spooky freebie! Happy halloween!
Just wanted to come back and say I really enjoyed this story. It might even be my new favorite! ❤️ Thanks for sharing. Reading a new chapter a week was a fun experience.
This was such a lovely Halloween treat! I really loved how it concluded overall, and I think that this story is well-suited to a novella length. My one exception would be Edie and Madeline – I love how things finish up between the two of them, but I think that there needs to be more of a relationship between them first?
Some could be post-revelation, pre-epilogue walks in the forest as she’s rehabbing her ankle? Mainly off page, just something to show more rapport earlier on. But overall, I really loved how the subtle rules of this realm’s magic helped to bridge the sometimes-rough gap between Proper Victorian Norms and modern day ‘oh, just say what you MEAN, already’ reader impatience 😁
Good point! I’ll take a look at how to address that in edits. Thank you!
This was a very enjoyable read. I especially love the ravens and would love some kind of inclusion of them near the end. If she takes up the cloak and they acknowledge it or celebrate it with her. that would bring everything full circle. Either way it comes out after edits, this will absolutely be a welcome addition to my bookcase.
Thank you so much for this awesome spooky season treat! I loved following along with each new chapter, and I loved it even more when I was able to reread it all in one go yesterday. ❤️ I’m looking forward to adding the edited version to my collection.
Chapter 12
His lips tightened, as if I was being sarcastic. I was not. I was being polite. He had behaved boorishly enough that I did not wish him on any other woman, and I will never regret saying no, but I know not to insult him. Stay civil but firm.
-> I think that should be “but I knew not to insult him.”
Correct! Thank you!
Long time fan, I really enjoyed this story and do love a KA serialized novella in October, thank you!!
This was such a treat. Love your books and this is my new favorite. Cant wait to have it in my shelf!
Kelley, I loved it! Could you possibly tell me how many pages it is? I track books read and pages read, because I’m needy that way.
It’s apparently 156 pages (45K words)
It’s supposed to say nerdy. Stupid spell check!